The Decision About What We Love More

In this article I am commenting on Master Paul the Venetian’s words:

«What do I love more? Do I love more the ego and its need for control and ownership, or do I love more the Christ and its spontaneous flowing from situation to situation without any control, without any predictability?”[1]

This is about love, but it is also one of the most challenging things we face on Earth as spiritual beings. Intellectually, it is relatively easy to understand that we love the Christ within us more than our ego.

However, in practical terms, we have spent a long time seeing everything through the filter of the countless subconscious selves that make up our egos.

Our egos have been supported for a long time by the image of the separate self created through experiences in the world of form, which has been kept in many lives and incarnations.

This separate self has made us accustomed to seeing everything from the perspective developed in the world of form, and we have created a strong sense of security based on this sense of self.

We developed a deep sense of self-worth based on patterns defined by that self — dualistic patterns, of course. However, these patterns have worked for many lives as something we have learned we can count on.

They established a sense of security in this world and were capable of anticipating anything that could happen. This anticipation worked as a sign of what we could expect from life in this environment.

These two factors — the anticipation of what can happen and the development of a self-image that defines our worth and principles — have been comforting in an environment of many dangers and unpredictability.

Therefore, when we encounter the teachings of the Ascended Masters that invite us to connect to the Christ mind and live our lives letting ourselves flow spontaneously from situation to situation without control or predictability, this presents a huge challenge.

This challenge is not just for beginners on the path; it is also for those who are near the 96th level of consciousness or beyond.

Our separate sense of identity will desperately resist this, trying to postpone this milestone because the 'conscious you' is so identified with the need for security that it wants to be exempt from letting go of this need.

Or, for that matter, it resists letting go of the desire to maintain its image as someone who is respected on Earth, someone who is recognised for this or that merit, defined in earthly terms.

I was never, as I accept, a 'materialistic person', nor have I ever been attached to material possessions.

However, I recognise many aspects of the separate sense of identity in myself, such as the desire to be recognised for my knowledge, professional competence and intellectual ability, and to be seen as a good, honest person with impeccable ethical standards.

I know clearly that these things have no spiritual meaning; they are just standards created on Earth.

However, I still feel the need to incorporate these aspects into my daily life because they matter to me.

As Master Paul the Venetian tells us, the challenge is that, before leaving this world of form, we need to make a clear decision: do we love the Christ and its spontaneous flow in the 'River of Life' more, or do we love what the ego loves most in the world of form more?

We tend to compromise, saying, 'Well, I want both', and this can work when what the ego wants and what Christ asks us to do are compatible.

But what if what we want in this world is not compatible with our connection to the Christ Mind?

Moreover, as Master Jesus taught us long ago, we cannot serve two masters. At some point, we need to let go of the sense of security and self-worth of the ego, because unless we do, our spiritual growth will stop.

Although choosing Christ over the ego is a matter of love, this is not enough given our ambivalence. We try to accommodate the 'two loves' by compromising and saying 'I love Christ, but at this moment I also love my sense of security and self-worth among men'. We need to make a choice.

This is the choice we make at the 96th level of initiation. However, for a time, we also need discipline and willpower to counteract the ego's resistance and let it go.

This choice must be maintained after initiation because although the ego will be weaker, it will still be present. We need to reaffirm our decision to let go of the ego many times over until we leave this earth.

[1]  Master Paul the Venetian, Can you Own Anything in this world?» in Being the Living Christ in Everyday Life dictated through the messenger Kim Michaels, 2025, p. 175 E-book version.