Overcoming the Need to Take on Other People’s Mistakes

In this article, I will write about two subconscious selves: the self that feels guilty, and the self that compensates for this. I will also argue  why we need to overcome these selves and their tendency to take on other people’s mistakes.

One consequence of the subconscious self that feels guilty is the need to compensate when someone close to us makes a mistake or acts inadequately.

This can manifest at home, for example, by taking on the belief that we must help that person at all costs, or by giving them more and more opportunities to 'do the right thing'.

It can also happen at work when a colleague or subordinate fails to fulfil their duties, and we give them the opportunity to do so after the optimal moment. Sometimes, this means sacrificing our own time to rest or take a break.

Why does this happen? Well, it happens because, in the past, we created a self that feels guilty, and its pair that feels the need to compensate for that guilt.

This pair of selves gives the person the psychological complex of the ‘sacrificial lamb’, offering themselves to take on the 'errors or mistakes' or any insufficiency found in those around them.

From the outside, this seems to be very 'humane' behaviour, or that of a 'good person' towards others.

However, if we look closely, it is actually the expression of behaviour that traps the person in a Catch-22 situation, which can stunt their spiritual growth.

Why is that? If you look closely, you will see that the person who exhausts themselves trying to prove that they are a ‘good person’ is someone who cannot forgive themselves. That's why they take on the ‘wrongs’ of others.

At some point in the past, they felt guilty about something they considered so bad that it could never be redeemed. This awareness made them feel so guilty that they expressed the desire, 'I never want to do this again'.

However, believing that what was done was so terrible that it couldn't be forgiven had two effects: the first is that this person couldn't forgive themselves.

The other was that he or she felt the need to constantly show that that action would never be repeated again, so the self to compensate was created to prove in every new situation, that she keeps showing remorse for the act committed in the past.

We can go even deeper and observe her willingness to forgive others for their omissions or failure to fulfil their duties, and her own desire to be forgiven for mistakes she cannot forgive herself for.

From a spiritual perspective, we can see why this is a spiritual Catch-22 situation: on the one hand, this person saw some past actions of her own as an absolute error, so she cannot forgive herself for them.

on the other hand, she is taking on the 'mistakes of others', doing what is necessary to 'restore' the situation herself so that others do not suffer the consequences of her choices.

This also demonstrates the narcissistic assumption by this person that she alone can be the cause of the world's evils, which is of course only an illusion of the ego.

Consequently, she is creating karma for herself because people are on earth to learn to take responsibility for their own choices and learn from the consequences of these choices, not to let others take that responsibility for them.

On the other hand, she cannot grow either because she is letting this pair of selves control her life (these selves were created in duality consciousness) and she is paralysed by these selves, which cannot let go of the perception filter of the illusion of absolute errors on earth.

As a result, she cannot forgive herself.

As the Lady Masters Nada and Portia have said many times, in order to grow spiritually, we must first forgive ourselves and everything.

Therefore, it is a priority to dismiss this pair of selves from our consciousness as soon as possible.

Master Jesus taught the same lesson when he made it clear that he came to set an example for all human beings, not to be the 'external saviour of humankind', as the mainstream churches say.

We are the ones who can save ourselves, by transcending our sense of identity; there are no 'sacrificial lambs' on Christ's path.