Experiencing Freedom from Trauma

It is possible to experience freedom from our reactions to traumatic events and abusive childhoods even if only for a moment. But to know it is possible can provide motivation to make new choices (and this is key).

I experienced childhood abuse as a baby on throughout childhood that left me feeling bad about myself. As an adult, I felt hammered at so many times a day in my own mind, but blamed it on my parents, romantic partners, or difficult situations.

I experienced constant anxiety. Panic attacks were just normal living for me. Counselors could barely scratch the surface. Doctors prescriptions only made things worse. Religion contributed to my feeling of being in hell on earth. Then I began yoga, my first calming experience to a traumatic life. Meditation helped me become more aware, which was a challenge too for a person with PTSD. Gradually, I studied reiki, Buddhism, and a lot of self help books. I did not find a quick fix.

When I was introduced to Ascended Master teachings through Kim Michaels, I actually felt like I was going to be able to get out of the feeling that I was stuck in a never ending hell. Life made more sense, as I was experiencing truth. I was able to take more responsibility for my own mind and decisions (another key). I was able to let go of so many unuseful beliefs and over time, my anxiety dramatically decreased. I was able to see that I had more choices than I previously thought. I was getting unstuck from turmoil by making different choices, often about how I viewed myself. Using my intuition and through diligent application of the teachings and invocations, I was able to lessen the effects of separate selves I had created in reaction to trauma.

Yet as my growth became more accelerated, I still felt attacked by separate selves, dark forces, or something, so many times a day in my own mind, body and energy field. Invocations of protection didn't work well for me, so I knew there was something More.

I was given this website address on a webinar. As I investigated and read Anu's post, Musings on Freedom, I started to see that I was separate from my chattering mind, what appeared to be a conglomeration of separate selves. I had been trying to deal with the separate selves separately, but as I continued to look, I saw a group of beings, possibly collective entities and/or projections from fallen beings that in the past, I often couldn't tell if they were me! This experience showed me a path out of the limiting view, the faulty belief that I was these projections, that I was bad or somehow at fault. No, I can see now that these are not me, not my true self.

It has been several months since I read Anu's post and had this experience and I can say that I don't feel so attacked, so in need of protection. I continue the growth process in so many ways. My mind is filled with so much more love and kindness for self and others than ever before instead of anxiety, suppressed anger, shame and depression. As a life long process, I am cultivating my mind into what I want it to be like instead of looking for someone else to fix me, for why do I want to give my free will away to another?

Everyone has their own path and process. My intention in sharing is that Anu's post sparked me to step out of my mind and experience freedom from a previously limiting view and may you be inspired to do so as well. This is my offering of love to you.