I have recently uncovered 2 dualistic beliefs that I have held for a long time deep in my four lower bodies.
They are related to the 1st ray of will and power, 4th ray of purity and the interplay of the masculine and feminine gender roles of humanity.
One of them, I will call it the first because I don't know which of the two manifested first. Probably neither, because twins are born at the same time. I will say these are twin beliefs which are outplayed as gender roles between two people in a relationship.
One twin is a perversion of the 1st ray by women. Here, a woman will use her sexuality as a weapon to hold power over a man. Many men have felt weak in the knees when in the presence of a beautiful woman who is aware of her sexuality. She is fully aware of the power it holds over the man who is magnetized by it. In that knowing, she uses it to her advantage to control and manipulate the man in question. This is how she perverts her creative power, by bringing it into the zone of control , deception and manipulation. I speak first hand because I have perverted my own power in this manner. Not consciously in this embodiment, but I have been able to access this belief hidden deep inside me, from past embodiments.
The identity that holds this belief thinks that, ultimately, the only way a woman can get around in this world is by using her body. It could be to attract protection from a man, to maintain a position in someone's life and so on.
Now let's go to the second belief.
In this, a man abuses his power by using force to satisfy his needs, including sexual needs , either through coercion, manipulation, and other forceful means including assault and rape. In this case, the masculine abuses his power.
Both are then attracted into a polarity with each other and a man holding such a belief will attract to him a woman holding the matching perversion of that belief.
So let's say, a man who believes it's ok to use force with a woman to satisfy his needs, or sexual desires will attract a woman who believes it's ok to use her sexuality to attract a man to herself, for say financial security. She would then also choose to entertain forceful sexual encounters, domestic violence and other forms of force from a partner. Same for the man.
This also ties in to the topic of whoredom. The practice of women accepting the role of a whore and men demanding this type of interaction with women.
There are men who hold the belief that every woman is ultimately a whore , and abuse their power when interacting with women. Such men do not hesitate to force themselves on a woman.
There are also women who hold the belief that men can be controlled through sexuality and go about their life interacting with men in such a manner.
These are perversions of the first ray of creative freedom, will and power. The misuse of sexual energy also creates a perversion and abuse of the 4th ray of purity. While people interact with each other using these perversions of the rays they end up creating an imbalance between the masculine and feminine God qualities and go deeper into duality.
Lifestreams can spend many lifetimes misqualifying their light by outplaying first one gender role and then the other, even karmically going into a downward spiral.
Recently I have started working on the deeper aspects of my psyche. And in the course of that work, I clearly saw today that I have held both these beliefs in my subconscious for a long time. I was led to this clarity via a series of dreams over the past 3 days which showed me how I have outplayed these patterns in past lives.
In this lifetime I have not used sexuality as I described above, though the deeper power game of domination / submission was still entrenched in my psyche and I have played out the submissive perversion. This, I assume is a remnant of whatever is still leftover from the work I probably started in a previous lifetime.
This lifetime has been more about “freedom” - physical freedom.
While working on this freedom part of my psyche I didn't see yet how the above mentioned beliefs were influencing my choices regarding how I saw the world and what I looked for in a partner.
When I was in my 20s and beginning relationships with various partners I found it important to find someone who could protect me. I believed the world to be a harsh place where a woman was not safe living on her own.
This was after I had ambitiously achieved financial and physical “freedom” by relocating to a modern Western country, the United States of America from a third world country. While in America I did not experience anything in my outer life to make me feel unsafe. Still, my psychology made me feel unsafe. As the masters say, people cannot be displaced from a suppressed situation to a completely free situation until they are psychologically ready . Their sense of identity will not accept it. This was true in my case. My subconscious beliefs did not match my outer situation. My growing up circumstances were also quite normal and safe. I was one of 3 children in a nuclear family with a decent balance of power between my parents . My father was not a highly dominating partner to my mother, though she was quite manipulative ( I realized much later in life).
But I harboured a fear of being married off into a family not of my choice ( as are so many girls in India) so I was ambitious enough to want personal independence. But as soon as I manifested that independence, I triggered my subconscious pattern of wanting to be protected. I later contemplated that these fears were related to not wanting to be bothered about being alert, diligent and fully responsible for my life . I was not ready to take command over my situation. I wanted a “ commander” , someone who knew how to navigate the ways of the wicked world. This meant I was not quite ready for personal independence because of my psychological shackles.
My psychology soon attracted a strong dominating partner who could “take care of me”. Which ultimately translated into “ complete control” and “pseudo dictatorship”. Because I was not psychologically ready to take responsibility for myself I was unable to maintain the circumstances of physical freedom that I had worked so hard for in my early years.
Nevertheless, I have learned these lessons the hard way, by experiencing a situation with a strong imbalance of power and suffering through it for almost two decades.
Back then, I was sure I wanted to marry my strong partner and I even fought with my parents to let me do so. We quickly got married and started a family. Within a couple of years, our situation changed in a way that we had to move back to my home country, India. I then entered my marital home with conservative in-laws and started a new life by following all the rules of a good submissive wife and daughter in law…It put me on the fast track to feeling suffocated and personal hell.
Long story short, I found the Master's teachings soon enough and made a determined effort to make sense of my situation. Today, I am in a more peaceful state of mind even though the outer situation is the same.
So the point being, my conscious beliefs still have some aspects of the perversions of the first ray that I talked about in the beginning. I have felt the necessity to submit my will to that of another for the sake of security and safety.
Finally, in the present, I am at the point where I have distanced myself enough to be able to write about it. Entering into this state of mind is a relief. I can only shake my head in wonder, how did I get stuck in this illusion so deeply and for so long. But then again, once inside it just seems so real and so important.
I also know that like me, there is a large percentage of the human population trapped in these dualistic beliefs. Both genders intermittently acting them out , including the same lifestream in different embodiments, sometimes as a male and other times as a female.
I sincerely hope that unlike me, these people find their way out of them faster than I did. Of course I am not attached to it, else I will have to stay back on this planet longer than is necessary.
Namaste. 🙏💕
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